September 21, 2006

Error! Error! Does Not Compute!

I WAS DISAPPOINTED on Monday night when, to my utter amazement and surprise, the Jacksonville Jaguars somehow snapped out of their let's-play-good-but-not-great rut and beat the Pittsburgh Steelers. The 9-0 shut out in Jacksonville was, as one might imagine, completely unexpected here at The Rant. After all, it was Jacksonville -- not a bad team, but not a great team, and not one which automatically earned the Boba Fett Nod of Respect. * Well, that sure as hell changed. Boy.

I mean, when did they turn on the afterburners? The last time anyone paid attention to Jacksonville, they limped into the playoffs as a No. 5 seed and the New England Patriots knocked the stuffing out of them. Suddenly, they've got this killer defense and Leftwich is threading the needle. It's craziness!

Also, the Thai military overthrew that country's Government in a coup d'etat. I didn't see that one coming either. And since these types of things happen in threes, I'm starting to wonder what will next creep up on me. Will the Steelers lose to the Bengals on Sunday, prompting a wave of taunts from the Rev. Uncle Dave? Will Wisconsin make a game of it against Michigan on Saturday, giving me a case of heartburn? Do I have enough Diet Cherry Coke to get through the weekend? The future is cloudy, and it's starting to worry me ever so slightly ...

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* The Rant awards the Boba Fett Nod of Respect to professional or collegiate football teams which perform so proficiently that one must afford them a degree of respect for their play, no matter how much one may actually dislike them. These teams include squads such as the New England Patriots, the Indianapolis Colts, the Kansas City Chiefs, and the Penn State Nittany Lions. Receiving the Boba Fett Nod of Respect, in most but not all cases, lowers or negates the amount of actual malice or hatred directed against these teams (Ohio State notably excepted).

Teams which fail to receive the Boba Fett Nod of Respect are either classified as Second-Rate Teams Which Aren't Generally Concerns (e.g., the Minnesota Vikings) or Wretched, Evil Teams Which Must Be Crushed Underfoot Without Mercy (e.g., the Oakland Raiders).

The "Boba Fett Nod of Respect," as all Star Wars fans know, is derived from that scene in "Return of the Jedi" when Princess Leia is disguised as a bounty hunter, and threatens to set off a thermal detonator in Jabba's throne room if she doesn't get her way regarding a bounty payment. After the gambit succeeds, bounty hunter Boba Fett gives her the slow nod of respect from across the room, as if to say, "You know, I was quite impressed with that. I must be cautious when dealing with you in future." Sadly, the "Boba Fett Nod of Respect" saying is not my own, but I believe I am the first person to apply it in print to professional football.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at September 21, 2006 10:59 PM | TrackBack
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