September 24, 2003

We're Sorry to Say It, But We Were Right


It would appear that what we here at The Rant predicted just over a week ago has already come to pass: Ben Damon and Jennifer Love Hewitt, or whatever their names are, have gotten back together again.

Well, that's -- just -- swell. Gad.

We must say that we were pleased to have a short respite -- two or three days, if we remember rightly -- when we did not have news about those two oversexed morons. Yet this brief feeling of relief quickly turned to annoyance when we learned that Bennifer had appeared at a Georgia courthouse for the intended purpose of securing B-Lo a firearms permit.

Oh, Gawd.

Forget what we wrote about those feelings of annoyance: what we meant to write was that we are now officially concerned. Based on our public perception about B-Lo, we believe him to be the last person in the United States who should be allowed to carry a weapon. It concerns us greatly that such a person of amazingly-mediocre abilities and arguably-questionable judgment would be allowed to have, on his person and without any supervisory authority, a loaded and fully-operational device capable of sending the average citizen into the next realm.

It's not just the question of whether B-Lo would actually use it, either. That's bad enough. What's nearly as troubling is that such an act, if God forbid it ever were to happen, would result in weeks if not months of news stories about these two insufferables. That, we would argue, would be more than any civilized person could bear.

RELATED: Matt Labash over at The Weekly Standard declares Jennifer Lopez "a climber," "a spoiled brat," and "materialistic" -- among other descriptives we can't publish here at The Rant. It's great fun!

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at September 24, 2003 09:06 PM | TrackBack