December 26, 2007

Gott im Himmel -- ein Kommunistischer Schurke!

THOSE WACKY GERMAN COMMUNISTS are at it again! This time around, as we understand it, a hue and cry has arisen after one Sahra Wagenknecht, a German communist -- you'd think they'd have learned -- was photographed eating a most unproletarian dish: lobster. Or, as they say over there, haaaaaammer, as in, Die haaaaammer est ist wie Butter.

As a dedicated German communist, Miss Wagenknecht does not actually work for a living. Instead, she sits in the European Parliament at Strasbourg (known in Germany as Diesenettestadtdiewireindrangen) and Brussels. Apparently, MEP Wagenknecht was out having dinner with friends when she made the mistake of ordering the €22* lobster dinner.

Realizing her mistake -- that the poor German lumpenproletariat suffering under the HARTZ IV reforms might not appreciate her choice of meal -- MEP Wagenknecht did what any good communist would do in such a situation. Namely, she used a crafty subterfuge to obtain the camera with the photo from a fellow legislator, and thence deleted the offending images.

Unfortunately, this annoyed the other legislator. Missing a particularly good chance to shut up, the other legislator filed a complaint about the matter, and now everyone is twittering about it, especially the insufferable English. Witness The Guardian's report on the matter:

Germany is appalled that its favourite communist has taken to adopting "tactics at which Stalin was a dab hand," as one newspaper commentator said.

Her cover-up methods have been compared to those of the Siemens boss who had his luxury Rolex watch airbrushed out of a promotion picture because he thought it might upset the public and open him to accusations of fat-cat tendencies.

A clearly embarrassed Wagenknecht - who was brought up on the works of Marx and Engels, joined the East German communists in 1989, and allegedly mourned the fall of the Berlin Wall - has admitted both to eating the lobster, and erasing the pictures.

But she defended her actions.

"I don't do anything that I say others shouldn't do," she told the daily (Die Tageszeitung). "On the contrary, I'm fighting for a society in which everyone can afford to eat lobster."

As to why she erased the pictures? "I didn't like them," she said.

Quite frankly, I don't see why Germans should be surprised at this -- this is, on a very small scale, what the Communists did for roughly 45 years running East Germany. One doubts that Erich Honecker wanted for anything during his time running the wretched place. One also doubts that if the German Reds were to somehow gain power, they would eschew having a bonny old time dining on lobster and caviar and petit-fours, whilst the people scrounged around for any mold-free potato they could find.

But since that will likely never happen, we find ourselves settling for what passes for scandal in Germany these days: Kommunistischerverfangeneressenhummerinderphantastischengaststätte.

Sad little place, isn't it?

* €22 = approx. US$450.

** Actually, MEP Wagenknecht is kinda foxy -- in that frosty postmodern German way.

*** MEP Wagenknecht is affiliated with something called the "Confederal Group of the European United Left - Nordic Green Left" in the Europarliament. I don't know about you, but shouldn't Germans kinda shy away from the whole Nordic thing? I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

**** She was a philosophy major in college. Christ. Could this get any more like a caricature?

***** Yes, it can -- to the point where it requires a fifth post-script! Apparently MEP Wagenknecht is a spokeswoman for something called the Venezuela Avanza solidarity association, which essentially supports evil Hugo Chavez's plans to wreck Venezuela. So, I ask: why is MEP Wagenknecht involved in a group working to deprive Venezuelans of sweet, succulent lobster in all its forms? Well? Oh, and isn't openly interfering in another nation's political workings a bit -- I don't know -- Amerikanisch? Eh?

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at December 26, 2007 10:09 PM | TrackBack

Awesome. Did you hear about the South American socialist politician who had to answer some uncomfortable questions about why he was wearing expensive designer clothing?

Posted by: Geoff Brown at December 30, 2007 01:55 AM

Yes! Venezuelan, wasn't he? Although, given the way things are going down there, that shouldn't surprise anyone either.

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at December 30, 2007 02:06 PM
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