SO REMEMBER THAT impassioned post I wrote a while back about how my glorious alma mater, The University of Michigan, called me and asked me for an absurd amount of money, and I said No! because I was angry about the football program? Well, that and the fact I'm a notorious cheapskate? Well, dig this: the University of Michigan sent me an athletic-themed fundraising package this past week.
Not only did this pleasant missive include a keepsake photo of Michigan Stadium -- although, for reasons I don't entirely understand, a photo in which the Big House is empty -- it also included plenty of information about how joining the University's alumni association would save me Big Money on athletic tickets and all sorts of other athletic-themed stuff. I can join the alumni group for just $59 per year -- and a single life membership can be mine for just $950! I'm still not sending them any money, of course, but you have to give them credit for their tenacity, the scoundrels.
Actually, I have to admit that for a moment, I was tempted to go for it, but a few seconds later my reason kicked back in and I realized that encouraging alumni to reminisce about big football games and other athletic joys was simply a trick the school uses to suck in unwary donors. I just wonder how my fellow alumni -- particularly those facing a crushing burden of student debt -- take these fundraising calls and letters.
I mean, I'm serious -- my school is shameless. For instance, a while back they sent along a nice notepad -- I use it for writing down notes here at the computer -- that is personalized with my information. Naturally, I used the thing -- and discovered that halfway through, they had slipped in a solicitation form asking for donations! Truly nothing is off-limits for these folks.
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SO LAST WEEK I got a call at work from a nice lady who, after some pleasant opening chit-chat, asked if I had remembered speaking with her about a year or so ago. Thinking it was a professional contact, I admitted I had not; this is not unusual, though, given the hundreds of people with which I speak. But then the conversation took a different and admittedly somewhat alarming tone. How, she asked, was my mortgage working out? Oh, well -- eh? What did you just say?
"What mortgage?"
Well, Ben, the 2/28 mortgage you signed up for last year.
"I don't have a mortgage."
Oh! So you paid off the property?
"What property?"
The property you -- wait, is this Ben so-and-so?
"No, this is Ben Kepple."
As you've deduced, our caller had somehow been directed to me, Benjamin Kepple, and not another guy in the building named Ben. I guess she was a mortgage broker and trying to find folks with adjustable mortgages wishing to refinance their loans. After clearing up all the confusion, and me agreeing to transfer her to the correct Ben, she asked ME if I wanted a mortgage! I mumbled something to the effect of a) No and b) the market's crazy. I swear, I sometimes wonder if this whole housing mess is still going to get worse before it gets any better.
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SPEAKING OF ODD SOLICITATIONS, I got a very nice e-mail this week from the Grand Rapids Rampage, the Arena Football League squad based in Michigan's second city. I had attended a game there on my vacation and enjoyed it very much. Oddly, though, this somehow got me on the "Maybe You'd Like Season Tickets!" e-mail list. My question is this: since the Rampage folks probably had my physical address as well as my e-mail address -- if I recall right, I had to submit both when buying the ticket on-line -- why wouldn't they notice that I lived, oh, roughly 884 miles away from the arena?
That said, I have to say Grand Rapids' e-mail was great -- very polite, informative, and interesting. Also, I would have definitely sprung for a season ticket if only I lived within one hour, and not 13 1/2 hours, of the venue. Michigan residents who DO live within an hour or so's drive of Van Andel Arena -- that would be YOU, residents of Kalamazoo, Holland, Muskegon, Big Rapids, and places in between -- should buy season tickets. Trust me: it is good football and fun to watch. Plus, the prices are insanely cheap. $202 gets you a lower-bowl season ticket to all eight home games AND a first-round playoff ticket.
Of course, that's assuming the Rampage make the playoffs, something they haven't done since 2003. But they do have a new coach, and they did win the whole enchilada back in 2001, so there's hope. I know things are tough in our home state right now, and that lots of folks don't have an extra $202 (or more) for season tickets. But upper bowl tickets are just $135 for the whole season. Speaking as a Midwesterner, we all know how important football is, and so I would encourage you to support this worthy local franchise. At least give it a try and go for one game. You'll have fun! (Also, parking is super easy, the arena is very nice and Grand Rapids has REALLY turned itself around).
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RANT READERS may have noticed the NFL's big push this month to market the glorious sport to Hispanics. The league has run commercials proclaiming Hispanic Heritage Month and some funny spots showing a marriage-counseling session in which a wife breaks down in tears upon learning her husband likes American football. On one Sunday Night Football broadcast, NBC went so far as to refer to the Vaqueros de Dallas v. Osos de Chicago matchup, and mentioned the Spanish feed viewers could pick up.
This is all well and good, but if the NFL really wants to generate popularity for the sport, put a team in Mexico City. I mean, come on, wasn't the one game held there last year a smashing success? Didn't it sell out Estadio Azteca? Didn't the stadium hold like 90,000 people for the game? I mean, come on -- let's do this and get a team in Mexico City, where one belongs. Put the team in the NFC South (because that will spur some great rivalries) and go for it. Having a 33rd team in the league shouldn't cause too many scheduling issues, television deals could easily be worked out with Televisa, and the league would tap into a huge new market. Let's strike while the iron is hot. And if you need to balance things out, give Los Angeles a team -- they've been a football desert for years.
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Anyway, speaking of football, the Cincinnati-New England game's about to start, so I must dash. But to recap: football is good, especially in spring and in Mexico City, but isn't enough of a motivator for me to give money to my old school. And go ... Patriots ... Bengals ... Patriots ... Bengals ... oh, at least put up a fight tonight, Cinci. Gawd.
Posted by Benjamin Kepple at October 1, 2007 08:31 PM | TrackBack