September 28, 2007

Guinea Worm Officially Surpassed as Worst Pestilence

LOYAL RANT READERS may recall my impassioned "what the hell?" response when I discovered the hideous parasite known as the Guinea worm. Well, even though I am glad to report our efforts to wipe out this nightmarish creature are well underway, I have some bad news: the Guinea worm has officially been surpassed as the worst menace facing mankind.

You know, because no one ever said anything about the ghastly brain-eating amoeba which festers in the lakes of our great nation. What the hell is this all about? I mean, I'm sorry, but we're not supposed to live in an era when some tiny, one-celled parasites can just go up a swimmer's nose and start feasting on tissue without so much as a by-your-leave. Clearly, our wildlife and public health officials must take all appropriate actions -- up to and including the mass poisoning of all water-borne life in affected areas -- to protect God-fearing people from this wretched, evil menace.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at September 28, 2007 09:40 PM | TrackBack
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