September 15, 2007

Touchdown Jesus Wept

SOME TIME DURING the third quarter, as the Michigan Wolverines continued to roll on over the Flailing Irish of Notre Dame, I received a call from my good friend Matt. Matt informed me that he was also watching the game, and said he expected me to write a long post extolling the virtues of Michigan's football program.

Well, it was good to see the men get back on track, although I don't think we can rest on our laurels anytime soon. Yes, we beat Notre Dame, and normally, this glorious triumph would be cause for great celebration. Was not the first Michigan football game I ever watched at that fine institution a last-second victory over Notre Dame, as our kicker's field goal try flew through the uprights under the placid gaze of Touchdown Jesus? Did we, the students, not run up and down the hall screaming and carrying Michigan's standard, and did we not sing "Hail to the Victors" with gusto? Aye, we did. We did indeed.

But our celebrations today must be tempered, for we are now 1-2 and won our sole victory against an opponent ranked No. 58. We ourselves were only ranked No. 49 prior to the win. As such, there is a long way to go before we can truly celebrate. We must throw down Penn State next week, and Michigan State thereafter, and Ohio State last of all. Only then can we celebrate our glorious victories as is our right.

Still, we looked good today. A 38-0 shutout IS a 38-0 shutout and there is something to be said for that. I like Ryan Mallett, this new freshman quarterback of ours. I like him a lot. I thought our defense's effort this time was much improved. Oh, and Mike Hart -- my God. Wow.

Of course, again -- all these wonderful accomplishments were carried out against Notre Dame's walking undead, whose performance was so wretched and miserable that Loy Norrix High School's football team could have beaten them today. What the hell happened to Notre Dame? Sure, the shine had worn off over the past few years, but they truly looked awful out there. Awful.

In other football news, I was greatly pleased to see Southern Mississippi defeat the Auburn Tigers today. There are few things more enjoyable than watching Auburn and its insufferable coach lose. And how about Utah -- Utah, for God's sake -- beating UCLA? I also have to give mad props to the University of Central Florida for nearly beating Texas, and good on The Citadel for giving Wisconsin hell. Now let's hope Nebraska can knock off USC!

UPDATE: Auburn fan Simon From Jersey informs me that Mississippi State University defeated Auburn, not Southern Mississippi. This is apparently worse. However, The Rant regrets the error.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at September 15, 2007 08:55 PM | TrackBack
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