September 22, 2004

Brit Faces Full-Court Press

THE ARIZONA REPUBLIC recently offered its readers a truly amazing account of the wedding ceremony between Britney Spears and That Dopey Looking Guy. There was an immense spite to the work which coursed through it like electricity, and its tone was so powerful that one could almost sense the writer gnashing his or her teeth during the creation process. The Republic's copy desk then provided a delightful finish with a truly obnoxious headline: "Spears, Casanova in first-crass ceremony." But do not take our word for it -- witness it for yourself:

The good news now that Britney Spears has finally married minor-Moesha-cast-member impregnator Kevin Federline, in a small ceremony Saturday evening in Studio City, Calif.: Finally, we can stop reporting on her taste-challenged marriage preparations ...

... The New York Daily News says that just after the couple placed platinum wedding bands on their Cheetos-stained fingers, Spears ditched her gown for a velour sweatsuit, the better to get down to Journey's "Lights." The rest of the wedding party was outfitted with comfy loungewear, too, some emblazoned with the words "Pimp" and "Pimp Daddy."

The 20 or so guests at the surprise ceremony dined on chicken fingers, crab cakes, ribs and Waldorf salad, according to Access Hollywood. No truth to the rumor that the guests pelted the happy couple with Slim Jims as they left for their honeymoon.

Now that, we would submit, is writing. Mean, vicious, unwarranted, uncalled-for writing -- but boy! there's talent there!

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at September 22, 2004 01:10 AM | TrackBack