Comments: Dear God, No!

Dude, I'm sorry, this will be so culturally repugnant and tasteless, I HAVE to see it!

I'm there.

Posted by simon at July 13, 2004 12:18 AM

Sweet mother of God, Ben, I hope this is some kind of joke.

Posted by Geoff Brown at July 13, 2004 08:38 AM

Geoff,

It's no joke. God help us all!

----

Simon,

There can't be anything more officially scrub than going to see Police Academy Eight.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at July 13, 2004 06:24 PM

I submit to the jury.....

LEONARD PART SIX!

Posted by simon from jersey at July 14, 2004 09:25 AM

Eh, I don't know, man. Leonard Part Six is bad, but it's the bad we all know. PA 8 has the potential to be far, far worse.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at July 14, 2004 09:33 AM

Which is exactly why we both know we'll see it.

Posted by simon from jersey at July 14, 2004 01:35 PM

Well, yeah. But if I DO go see it, it will convey that I haven't a shred of dignity left.

When was it due for release again?

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at July 14, 2004 07:21 PM

This no longer involves dignity or character, Ben. We MUST see this heinous piece of garbage, because it will no doubt be one of the most unintentionally funny things ever, at least, not in the manner in which the script hopes for. Imagine a bloated, years-out-of-work Steve Guttenberg clawing for every last scrap at the bottom of his own personal barrel of washed out pride. At least HE HAD other roles. Some of the fringe "specialty" characters are in even deeper.

I cannot wait for this fifth to be put out to pasture. It will be worth it just to see the look on the ticket booth worker's face when I say, smiling, "One for Police Academy 8, please."

It's a bit insulting to me, Ben, that you even try to pretend you aren't secretly looking forward to this.

Even with the tripe passing for Reality TV these days, Mankind may never, ever be the same after this gets released.

Alright, I'm done............

Posted by simon from jersey at July 15, 2004 05:22 PM

Simon--

Just because I'll go see it and (admittedly) have fun beating up on it does NOT mean the movie should be made. On the other hand, if it happens to be unintentionally funny -- well, that'll be like a bonus, won't it?

As an aside, I don't think a starring role in "Short Circuit" ought count as real work, at least not in the grand scheme of things.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at July 15, 2004 06:22 PM

Also, think about the legions of die-hard Police Academy fans who will go see this movie and inevitably be disappointed -- the true believers, if you will. Dozens upon dozens of people could be at risk!

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at July 15, 2004 06:24 PM

While I'm thinking about it, I think we should definitely plan to be in the same area when this is released. After all, this would be like some kind of Key Scrubness Highlight.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at July 15, 2004 06:26 PM

Well Ben, the good news seems to be that the world will be safe from this until 2006 (according to the IMDb.com).

One can only hope the nostalgia for this type of thing (Starsky & Hutch, Charlie's Angels, etc) has worn off by then, making the release as ill-timed as it already is ill-advised.

Posted by simon from jersey at July 16, 2004 01:00 PM

Actually, one can also only hope the release of this lead balloon will coincide with our journey into the heartland of America. We could see it in some random place like Cheyenne, WY.

S-C-R-U-B.

Posted by simon from jersey at July 16, 2004 01:02 PM

Better yet, the hometown of one of the actors....Maybe they'll have some sort of small town celebration.

God that would be sweet.

Posted by simon from jersey at July 16, 2004 01:08 PM

You know, we could plan our trip accordingly to coincide with the release.

But just FYI, according to IMDB, Michael Winslow is from Spokane, Wash. *Spokane*. Kazurinsky is from Johnstown, Pa. One of these two places WILL have a small-town celebration.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at July 16, 2004 02:12 PM

excerpts from versified conversations and cigars letters, interior monologues and (as Carson's green card lottery readers have come to expect) digressions usa visa on matters of classical scholarship. This green card kind of thing is imitated badly and often accept credit card

Posted by Cigars at July 25, 2004 11:57 PM