Comments: Naming One's Children

When my friend Mitchell heard that Demi Moore and Bruce Willis named their kid Rumer, his comment was: "What -- will they name their next child Bald-faced Lie?"

Posted by red at May 21, 2004 01:36 PM

Ha! Although, in Mr Willis' case, wouldn't that be "bald-headed lie?"

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at May 21, 2004 02:19 PM


While most of these names are quite stupid, Bruce and Demi's choice of appellations (good one), while uncommon, are older names traditionally given in the South. They aren't made up or anything. Rumer and Scout especially. I kind of like them, actually. They're kind of like Esther or Mathilda or Eugene. I won't name my kids that but I can respect it. Audio Science? That kid has many undeserved black eyes and Hertz donuts coming.......

Posted by simon from jersey at May 21, 2004 04:11 PM


Well, I remembered "Scout" from "To Kill a Mockingbird" and I had seen it before in some other media, so I wasn't going to go flat-out on that one. On the other hand, naming one's kid "Denim" is silly!

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at May 21, 2004 06:23 PM

I just realized something really funny, that is, if Audio Science takes the name Sossamon. His initials will be ASS. Ha ha ha

Posted by simon from jersey at May 22, 2004 04:09 PM

God save the poor boy!

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at May 23, 2004 08:35 PM

Since celebrities already have tons of wealth and power, something the common man doesnt have, then to keep things in balance they need to lose one thing that the common man DOES have: dignity.

This "apple" name serves as that dignity-taking device. It is truly fitting, fair, and this seemingly odd behavior should always be encouraged within the elite hollywood communities. After all, these hollywood people are what the common man talks about around the water cooler, so to speak. After all, they did choose a life of "entertainment" and isnt this entertaining?

Think about it this way: Would you rather have the celebrities all name their children John and Jane, and never do anything unusual?

Posted by AK at May 24, 2004 12:18 PM


I don't deny the wealth aspect to celebrities' lives, but I'm not convinced about their power, at least not outside the greater Los Angeles area. Consider: when Drew Barrymore tried to get on Wesley Clark's campaign bus here during the primary, the journalists all screamed at her to get out. As I see it, the real power in America rests in New York and Washington and Detroit; i.e., the financial world, the political world, and the old-line giant companies "too big to fail." But that's another discussion entirely.

But back to the baby names. Celebrities are in public life, and do influence some portion of the American people. As such, unless they are truly morons (and almost all are certainly NOT), they know exactly what they are doing when they spout off on Topic A or Conduct Wacky PR Stunt B. This is why they are fair game for ridicule and criticism (or, sometimes, effusive praise). And they are especially fair game when they make patently stupid decisions affecting the lives of their children, who, after all, have no choice in the matter.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at May 24, 2004 07:19 PM