Comments: All-Star Game Focus: Basketball Is Not a Sport

Basketball does suck for the most part, in comparison to the other "major" sports. I won't make a longwinded argument here, but I can assure you hockey, yes, hockey is the greatest game, followed by soccer, yes, soccer, then american football a solid third. If the French had invented baseball, we'd call it a lazy, pointless, nagging game with an inept strategy and 162 game marathon of a season, full of seemingly meaningless small victories of style over substance. Instead, the US of A did, so it's our pasttime, a glorious ode to all things American. This is truly a multi-tiered ironic statement. Pro basketball is circling the drain, though we both know if the Pistons are in the NBA Finals, we'll see the light something fierce. The college game (actually the women's college game) is the best true basketball still out there. Thus spake Simon.

Posted by simon from jersey at February 17, 2008 10:18 AM

Hi Simon,

Although I would naturally take issue with your argument that hockey is the greatest sport on earth, I must say your assessment of soccer as the world's second greatest sport is not unjustified. Right now, I'm watching Hannover v. Bayern Munich on Gol TV; it's not a bad match.

Although I like American football more than I do European football, soccer has one big thing going for it: its promotion and relegation system. Many people who disparage soccer either unfairly discount it or don't know about it, but it's a beautiful thing. Hopefully, US football will get to the point where we can have such a system, if only because it makes games between bad teams really interesting.

For instance, take the game last year between the Chiefs and the Bengals. Both teams sucked, and both played badly during the game. Since they were both having awful seasons, the game was meaningless. But the threat of relegation would have really made that game interesting.

Of course, you need a LOT of teams to make that possible, so a system would only work if you had a large second division. Maybe the growth of non-NFL football leagues will eventually make that a possibility.

As for baseball: agree completely. As for pro basketball: agree completely, although I would love it if the Clippers made it into the NBA Finals (not this year!) And I'd give hockey a solid third on the Greatness of Sport list.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at February 17, 2008 12:17 PM

I have two quotes that, in the context of their respective films, sum my thoughts up best...

With regard to hockey vs football:

"Agree to disagree"....Ron Burgundy, Anchorman.

With regard to relegation and its probable damnation of my beloved Detroit Lions....

"An interesting point".....Jules, Pulp Fiction (on foot massages).

Thanks for the quote of the day. You left out the multi-tiered irony part....wink wink.

Posted by simon from jersey at February 18, 2008 12:31 PM


Especially when the one over the Colorado Avalanches' goal lights up. Yeah.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at February 18, 2008 11:50 PM

Heck, while we're on it....scrubbest year of the 20th century.....1938! (1919, 1950, 1974, 1998 get honorable mentions).

Posted by simon from jersey at February 20, 2008 03:09 PM

Dude, I never thought I'd disagree on scrubness, but I think 1938 -- although arguably a scrub year, due to the exploits of people like "Wrong Way" Corrigan -- was not THE most scrub year of the 20th century. I mean, we had several powerful contenders, including: 1909, 1926, 1935, 1948, 1975, 1978 -- ESPECIALLY 1978 -- and 1982, which I think is a strong second.

For my money, 1978 is the winner, even though the Steelers won the Super Bowl that year and produced one of the best football teams of all time. Because let's face it, nothing else happened in 1978, yet everything about it -- except the Steelers -- sucked.

Also, nothing happened in 1909, except for the fasct the Rosicrucians were founded. Scrub.

Nothing also happened in 1926. Scrub by default.

In 1935 you had the Dust Bowl AND Social Security get signed into law. Scrub.

In 1982, the Cincinnati Bengals lost the Super Bowl, you had the Falkland Islands War and Braniff airlines went under. SCRUB.

Gotta agree on 1919 (Spanish flu!) and 1950, though. Clearly scrub years.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at February 20, 2008 08:40 PM

Hey asshole, are you fucking kidding me???? You are probably some fat son of a bitch who sits on the couch and probably plays baseball and football becasue thats the only sport your fat ass can play because "you dont have too move as much." Your a fucking joke to America you lazy faggot. No wonder your not good at the fucking sport, maybe becasue you played it one year when you were a fucking kid....have you heard of anything called practice???? Do you think NBA players are as good as they are becasue they sit on the couch and watch soap operas all day like your yourself??? No they worked their ass off every day of their life........So please dont even disrespect the sport of fucking basketball or question its integrity. If anything its the best sport. It requires you to be in good condition, you have to have great mental toughness and have good hand eye cordination.....something your fat ass doesnt have. And your saying wow basketball has 82 games and no one cares for other than the playoffs......well buddy baseball has 162 regular season games, and quite frankly i couldnt give a shit for either one of them......BASEBALL IS TOO FUCKING SLOW so dont complain about always having to be moving.....but oh wait i forgot your fat, slow, and lazy. Yeah so dont even say basketball isnt a sport just becasue you suck at it, thats a pretty arrogant thing to say.....maybe if your athletic you'd be at least halfway decent at every sport.

Posted by Tommy at April 22, 2008 08:30 AM

Tommy: if that doesn't earn you a guest-host spot on "The Fan," I don't know what will!

All best,

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at April 22, 2008 10:01 PM

Did this fine gentleman even READ what you wrote???

I wish he had taken one second, beyond learning the difference between "you're" and "your", to actually defend why he thinks your (haha) wrong.

I mean, this what the average American's breadth of personal expression has come to? I happen to agree that the NBA has gone downhill while the actual game of basketball is fine and well...the pros just don't play it.

BTW, I went to the Spurs Suns 2OT game 1 and it was excellent. Pistons Spurs in the Finals!

Posted by simon from jersey at April 23, 2008 10:51 PM

Apparently Tommy's apostrophe key broke off, most likely because he hit his head repeatedly against it while trying to watch a "TOO FUCKING SLOW" baseball game.

That was seriously an amazingly awesome comment. Kudos, Mr. Kepple! Keep 'em coming!

Posted by Matt at April 25, 2008 09:53 PM
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