October 22, 2008

Police Arrest Pensioner After She Refuses to Return Kids' Football

89-Year-Old Mrs Edna Jester
Faces Charge of Petty Theft

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Pathetic Neighbors Call Police After Mrs Jester
Invokes Age-Old Right of Elderly Homeowners

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Bengals Make Mrs Jester Job Offer
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By FLIP ARGENTI
The Sporting Rant

CINCINNATI -- Police in the Cincinnati suburb of Blue Ash arrested an 89-year-old woman after she refused to return a football belonging to a neighborhood child, according to published reports.

Authorities have said the law gave them no leeway in the matter, particularly after Mrs Edna Jester refused to sign a citation promising she would appear in court to answer to a petty theft charge. Their account of the dispute, along with their request that city residents figure out a way to resolve such issues without bothering police, can be found here.

The dispute erupted on Oct. 16. Authorities said Mr Paul Tanis, a resident of the Myrtle Avenue area in Blue Ash, had contacted police after Mrs Jester took his son's football, which had landed in Mrs Jester's yard, and would not return it. Officers responding to the scene had hoped to arrange an orderly transfer of the property in question, but were unsuccessful in doing so. Mrs Jester now faces a November court date to answer to the charge, while the football remains under police custody.

In related news, the Cincinnati Bengals announced Mrs Jester would be offered a position on the Bengals' coaching staff, with owner Mike Brown saying "it was the least he could do."

"Mrs Jester is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law," Mr Brown said, "and even if she is found guilty, that would not be a reason to deny her the second chance she would deserve as a result of her conviction. Along with that, I believe Mrs Jester can impress upon the team the importance of holding on to the ball, even in extreme circumstances. We have been lacking in terms of time of possession this year, and I believe Mrs Jester can reinforce the importance of this crucial statistic."

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at October 22, 2008 02:02 AM | TrackBack
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