October 15, 2008

Guess Who's Going 0-7?

YOU KNOW, IT'S A BAD SIGN for a football team when the mayor of their city tells people they should support the squad, and the mayor's earnest call is met with ... well, laughter. The Cincinnati Enquirer has the full story, which I paraphrase here:

MAYOR MARK MALLORY: It is very important that we continue to support the Bengals, even when they are having tough times. They need our support more than ever. So I don’t know why you guys are giggling and laughing --

REPORTERS: *snicker* *guffaw*

MALLORY: I’m very serious, OK? I support our sports teams. We have to support our sports teams.

REPORTER: You realize there will probably be more Pittsburgh Steelers fans there than Bengals fans.

MALLORY: You know what? What did you just say? You said there will probably be more Pittsburgh Steelers fans at the game than Bengals fans. What does that say? It says that Pittsburgh fans continue to support their team. We’ve got to support our team. We absolutely have to support our team. There is just no doubt in my mind about that. No room for negotiation as far as I’m concerned.

Boy, I can't wait for this Sunday -- if only to see how many Pittsburgh Steelers fans crowd into Paul Brown Stadium and cheer on the Black and Gold to their fifth victory of the season. Sadly, this will mean Cincinnati shall fall to 0-7, a fate that for a football fan is worse than death and arguably equivalent to getting hit in the head with a two-by-four every week. A two-by-four with a nail in it.

Of course, Mayor Mallory is right -- one must support one's team, no matter how badly they do, and eventually the Bungles are going to win a game. They just won't do it this weekend. Already the fans are bailing ship -- to the point where desperate fans are unloading their tickets at below face value. That's kind of pathetic. Some tickets are reportedly going for as little as $24. I've paid more for tickets to a Continental Indoor Football League game.

Who is to blame for this? Well, I think the Bengals' owner, Mike Brown, deserves much of the blame -- he is clearly the worst owner in the NFL (worse than the Fords!) and clearly incapable of running a major-league franchise. If he was capable, Cincinnati would have made the playoffs more than once over the past 18 years. But everyone, except the Bungles' long-suffering fans, deserves a share of the blame for this awful, miserable, craptacular football team: the players, the coaches, everyone involved with the whole rotten organization. It is true there is always next year, but that's a heck of a thing to say halfway through the current football season.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at October 15, 2008 11:41 PM | TrackBack
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