August 06, 2008

A Bridge Too Favre

MY FATHER, UPON HEARING my complaint I was absolutely sick of hearing about former current soon-to-be-traded Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre, offered up what I think is a reasonable explanation for the all-Favre, all-the-time news cycle that has emerged over the past few weeks. Namely, my father wondered if ESPN secretly paid Mr Favre ten million dollars to suddenly un-retire and send shock waves throughout the football world. After all, Mr Kepple pointed out, it's not like Terrell Owens has been in the news lately.

Of course, Mr Kepple was kidding, and so am I. But I must admit a bit of secret pleasure -- schadenfreude, perhaps -- at the latest twists and turns in the Favre saga. Not only is Favre almost certain to leave Green Bay, there's a chance he could get traded to the New York Jets. The Rant's reaction to this possibility can be summed up as follows: oh, please God. Please. I mean, how cool would it be if the New York Jets got Brett Favre as their quarterback?

True, the only reason I want the Jets to sign Mr Favre is because it could conceivably help the Jets defeat the New England Patriots. As a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, I once kinda liked the Patriots -- at least, until they got really good and started defeating the Steelers despite all our best efforts. Add in the antics of Mad Genius Hobo Coach, the admittedly-brilliant play of quarterback Tom Brady and the fact the Pats lost the "humility" page in their playbooks, and they've suddenly become Public Enemy No. 1 for everyone who does not root for them. Making matters even worse, I live in the heart of Patriots Nation; as such, I am an enemy combatant. So, even though there are situations when I do root for the Patriots -- such as when they play Rocket Arm and his gang of idiots -- I generally view them the same way Cato viewed Carthage. Must. Be. Destroyed. If the generally-likable Jets can help bring that about, I am all for it.

Given this, I think it's clear the Packers ought trade Mr Favre to New York, and not to Tampa Bay, where Mr Favre would quickly fade out of the limelight as he played in games against the -- ew -- Atlanta Falcons. Trading Mr Favre to the Buccaneers would mean he could conceivably knock the Packers out of a Super Bowl trip, and the cheeseheads would go crazy if that actually happened. But trading Mr Favre to New York would almost certainly prevent him from causing trouble for the Packers, as the possibility the Jets could reach the Super Bowl is so remote that it is downright laughable.

Whatever the outcome, though, I can take pleasure in knowing Mr Favre's trade will help take much of the spotlight off Green Bay and its pleasant, albeit vaguely disturbing fans. Although like most fans I tend to like Green Bay, I would be fine if I did not hear about them for the first eight weeks of the season. Mr Favre's departure should help bring that about, as the Pack descends into a mediocrity one would normally associate with the Minnesota Vikings. This would then help my third team, the hapless Detroit Lions, have an excellent season. By which I mean 8-8.

God, I can't wait for fall to get here.

UPDATE, 8:38 a.m., Aug. 7: YES! YES! YES! YES! I am glad to see the Packers listened to me.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at August 6, 2008 11:02 PM | TrackBack
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