July 04, 2008

OK, Who at State Screwed This One Up?

THE SUN, THAT BASTION of proper journalism, has published a breathless report on a 36-year-old English model who, thinking she would need to shave several years off her age to secure an American modeling contract, embarked on a scheme to gin up identity documents that showed she was eight years younger than she actually was.

Unfortunately for the model in question, the plan unraveled when she submitted her visa application to the U.S. embassy in London. Someone at the embassy did a records check and found Saskia Porter had traveled to the United States previously but that the ages on her documents didn't match up. The embassy subsequently forwarded the case to the British Government, and Ms Porter found herself in the dock. She received a nine-month suspended sentence.

Helpfully, The Sun has provided a picture that -- to borrow from the words of one Sun commenter -- shows Ms Porter with, uh, nothing to declare. Hail Britannia!

Anyway, The Rant is most displeased at the outcome of this matter and requests the embassy issue Ms Porter a visa forthwith. Actually, given the circumstances surrounding this case, The Rant would request the Embassy just ship her a green card, a citizenship application and a welcome kit. The United States cannot afford, in its quest to retain its primacy for all time, to turn away hot foreign women* -- particularly hot women from the British Isles, who share a common language, have sexy accents, and have British pounds or euros as opposed to Yankee pesos. Besides, if we let in Victoria Beckham, surely we can let Ms Porter have a go at things on this side of the pond.

* Unless, of course, the woman in question is Gisele Bundchen.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at July 4, 2008 10:42 PM | TrackBack
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