February 29, 2008

Oh, Thank God

FOOTBALL IS BACK! Well, not the NFL and not college football, but there's football nonetheless to watch -- starting on Saturday, when at 1 p.m. Eastern ABC will broadcast an Arena Football League game between the Dallas Desperadoes and the Georgia Force. Later that night, there's an Internet broadcast of the Arizona Rattlers v. Utah Blaze game, which I'll try to figure out how to watch. On Monday night ESPN2 will broadcast the game between the evil San Jose SaberCats and the Chicago Rush, whom I like, although not as much as I like Grand Rapids.

Anyway, this is important. The past few weeks have been absolute hell. Consider: yesterday, I was at the local arena where the Manchester Wolves, my city's arenafootball2 team, plays. I made a point of taking a minute to see where my seat was for this year's season. I could see the action taking place on the field. I mean, my God -- I bet people out there have been so desperate for entertainment they actually watched the Oscars, just in the hopes one of the winners would use his statutette on a Hail Mary pass to somebody in the audience.

For those Loyal Rant Readers who had previously resigned themselves to spending six months in a football-less purgatory, I've come up with a handy device to help you get through this most trying of times. Keep praying for autumn to come quickly, of course. But consider watching some of the many spring football games to help you cope with this most unpleasant experience:

Dear readers, it was my pleasure to draw up that grid. What's that? Don't you "hey, wait a minute" me. I worked hard on -- well, of course they're my teams' colors. Did you think I'd put the scarlet and gray up there? Wrong. Make your own schedule if you don't like it. I mean -- now look, I'm not going to take -- well, I'm sorry Faneca went to the Jets too. Don't you give me that look! Anyway, we'll take that up in the fall, because we've got plenty of spring football to focus on. Thank God.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at February 29, 2008 09:38 PM | TrackBack
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