December 17, 2007

"Die, Baseball. Die."

REMEMBER A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO when I posted that brief little item about how football is better than baseball for myriad reasons? Well, along those lines, I've got to pass on this downright amazing post from Every Day Should Be Saturday, the excellent college football blog. The title, as you may have guessed, is: "Die, Baseball. Die." If you ask me, its author, who goes by the pseudonym of Mr Orson Swindle, is right on in his assessment of America's second-most-popular sport.

Here's a representative quote from Mr Swindle's magnum opus, which must be read in its entirety. In this portion of his essay, he is describing the game of baseball:

No contact, no passion, no energy, and as much strategy as a game of horse-shoes. Wait, that’s a disservice to horseshoes. None. If someone preens on one more time about the strategy involved in baseball, we will drop a safe on you from a great height, because there’s simply nothing going on out there. At least the British admit the whole thing is a front for beer-drinking and lolling around outside for a few days. We’d like it if baseball games lasted three days like cricket test-matches, if only because the epic drunk you’d get on would likely get Viking war songs written about you, your friends, and the time you each drank a 24-pack before noon without dying.

As a writer, I can only stand in awe and salute his ingeniousness.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at December 17, 2007 09:24 PM | TrackBack
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