August 30, 2007

Let the Stomping Begin

OK, SO IT'S HALFTIME and the No. 10 University of Louisville Cardinals are beating the hapless Murray State Racers 63-10. Yes, that's right. Louisville has managed to rack up nine touchdowns in the first half. You've got to love the first week of college football.

With a few exceptions, I always root for the underdog in these early games of the season, just because I think it would be fabulous if one of them actually managed to knock off a school that in all likelihood paid the underdog hundreds of thousands of dollars to appear. That goes double if the favorite is a ranked team, because that will mean one less competitor to challenge the University of Michigan for the national title. And although I detest the SEC and would almost never root for any of its teams (except Vanderbilt), I enjoyed it last year when the No. 23 Tennessee Volunteers crushed the No. 9 California Bears in the season opener. Especially because Lee Corso had picked the Bears as the year's putative national champions.

Oops.

There will be no such knock-outs tonight. I have been rooting for the Mississippi State ... uh ... Bulldogs to defeat the evil LSU Tigers in a first-week SEC game, but that looks very unlikely at this point, because the Bulldogs' quarterback sucks. Amazingly, here in the opening minutes of the third quarter, LSU is only up 17-0, even though the Bulldogs QB threw FOUR interceptions in the first half and LSU spent practically the entire game in the Bulldogs' territory. Oops -- now it's 24-0. Shit.

Still, while this may seem like a stomping -- and in a way, it is -- it really isn't, because LSU should have scored about 50 points in the first half, and the Bulldogs' defense played really well, all things considered. In short, this isn't the type of play one would expect from the nation's No. 2 ranked team. I can only chalk it up to the fact that the SEC sucks, and LSU particularly sucks, and I hope they lose to ... uhhh ... crikey, look at this powder puff schedule these guys have. It's not nearly as pathetic as Wisconsin, but still. Anyway, I hope they lose to Florida, because even though I hate Florida, it could shut up LSU boosters for as long as 48 hours.

Now let's look at the other scores. Third quarter: Louisville 70, Murray State 10. Oooooh. C'mon, Murray State! No. 16 Rutgers ... oh, wait, I like Rutgers, so never mind. Cincinnati 59, SE Missouri State 3. Yeeeouch. No. 24 Boise State 42, Weber State 0. Boy, it's not even half-time in that one. Where the hell is Weber State, anyway? What's that? It's in Ogden, Utah? Well, that's explains why -- oh, here's their Web site. Uh oh. It looks tragically hip and with it -- that can't be a good sign.

Anyway, like I said, no knockouts tonight. But hope springs eternal. So this weekend, you'll find me rooting for the Washington State Cougars and the Oklahoma State Cowboys and the East Carolina Pirates and the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers and the Youngstown State ... uh, Penguins? The Penguins? Are you kidding me?

Boy. Oh, and look, the Bulldogs QB threw ANOTHER interception. And now it's 31-0. Will someone please stick a fork in this guy?

UPDATE: I mean, TJ on the Sonic commercials is throwing better than this guy. Jumbo popcorn chicken, everybody!

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at August 30, 2007 10:49 PM | TrackBack
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