August 19, 2007

"With God, All Things Are Possible"

THAT MAY BE TRUE, but if I lived in Ohio's Cuyahoga County -- hi Mom! hi Dad! hi Jesse! -- I would be somewhat concerned knowing my county government basically cribbed its entire civilian evacuation plan from Kansas City. Here are the key quotes from the The Kansas City Star:

While he found the imitation flattering, D.A. Christian, Kansas City emergency management director, said Cuyahoga County might have been misled.

The alliance’s report, he pointed out, is based largely on the relative abundance of highways leading out of Kansas City.

“They didn’t even look at the evacuation plan,” he said.

Melissa Rodrigo, manager of Cuyahoga County Emergency Management, said she figured that if Kansas City scored high enough on the study to gain national attention, the city probably had an evacuation plan worth checking out, even if the two are not directly related.

Last week, Cuyahoga County commissioners unanimously adopted the plan, which has been in the works for more than a year.

But two commissioners, now worried that the plan is not tailored to the county’s needs, said it needed to be re-evaluated, the newspaper said.

For example, Kansas City’s plan includes nothing about being sandwiched between two nuclear power plants. Nor does it factor in Lake Erie blocking all possibility of a northbound escape.

Yeah, those things might be SOMEWHAT IMPORTANT for Cleveland and its surrounding environs to consider, if only because of the high probability the nuclear power plants will be directly responsible for the events requiring a mass evacuation. After all, the same geniuses running these plants blacked out half the eastern U.S. a while back.

So, Mom, Dad, Jesse -- you might want to look into mooring a boat somewhere along the Cuyahoga River, so you can steam out into Lake Erie ahead of the screaming, desperate mobs of angry citizens who can't figure out why authorities are telling them to take I-35 out of the city. Barring that, you might want to stock up on canned goods, plywood and that plastic sheeting stuff, just in case disaster strikes and you end up under the benevolent dictatorship of the Pepperwood North Homeowners Association until the federal Government gets around to restoring order.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at August 19, 2007 11:45 PM | TrackBack
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