January 28, 2007

Tequila Sunrise

SO ON FRIDAY NIGHT, I went out and partied with a bunch of friends from the office. No, really, I did! I can assure everyone I had a great time and I really enjoyed myself, although I started feeling sleepy after midnight. The next morning, I found there was good reason for that, as I was really tired.

Here's a dramatization of how I reacted to waking up on Saturday morning, after a night of actual drinking and about six hours' sleep:

I suspect a key contributor to this was the tequila I had during the evening.

Some readers may be familiar with the country song, "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo," in which singer Tracy Byrd regales his listeners about quickly imbibing ten shots of the erstwhile spirit during a night at the bar. This action supposedly prompts Mr Byrd to engage in a desultory pattern of behavior, ending with him starting to drink tequila again. However, I can assure readers Mr Byrd's song is a complete and utter fantasy. This is because the tequila would have burned through the man's throat somewhere around Shot No. 7, prompting him to drop to the ground in agonizing pain.

Furthermore, in the event Mr Byrd's central nervous system could have stayed intact to the point of managing a tenth shot in rapid succession, it is dubious anyone would have remained in close proximity to serve him one. After all, at that point it would be feasible that the additional shots of Jose Cuervo might have built up in Mr Byrd's trachea, prompting an conflagration that would go down in local lore, kinda like the unfortunate Denny Pratt tragedy.

So, yeah, the stuff I had was a bit strong and I had four shots of it over a two hour period. Strangely, though, I was completely sober at the end of those two hours, and that somewhat surprised me. I drink very little as a matter of course, so four shots of tequila should have had me stumbling around the bar yodeling and insulting the other customers. I mean, I didn't even have a hangover the next morning.

In fact, I actually felt really good.

Thus, I think we can conclude the night was a success, particularly since I didn't wake up with the horrible shooting pains in my shoulders and back that seem to crop up more and more frequently these days. Who knew that tequila could serve as a balm of Gilead? Also, I learned that if I need something really strong, I'll order a shot of Jagermeister.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at January 28, 2007 08:05 PM | TrackBack
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