October 05, 2006

A Difficult Decision

ON SUNDAY, the Dallas Cowboys will play the Philadelphia Eagles in the City of Brotherly Shove. It will be a game fraught with tension and emotion and a wonderful storyline, what with the flamboyant Terrell Owens returning to play the team which he treated so badly. Like most football fans in the United States, I find myself in a dilemma: do I root against Dallas, or do I root against Philly?

After all, like most football fans in the United States, I don't particularly care for the Eagles or the Cowboys. In fact, I hate both teams with a passion, and I would like nothing more than for both squads to beat the crap out of each other on Sunday. Few things would cause me more enjoyment than watching a Philadelphia lineman steamroll over Mr Owens -- except, perhaps, Mr Owens scoring a key touchdown over the wretched Eagles. In fact, this is one of those games where I'm tempted to simply root for both teams' defensive squads, which are too frequently overlooked in this day and age.

Yet that doesn't mean it's easy to choose whom to root against. Why, even on my list of NFL teams which I hate, Dallas and Philadelphia are remarkably close on the list (Dallas is No. 3, while Philadelphia is No. 4). Trust me when I say there's lots to dislike about both teams.

In Dallas' case, there's the jackass owner (Jerry Jones), the arrogant coach (Bill Parcells), and the team's long history of having players who either run afoul of the law or are incredibly irritating (or both). Plus, they beat the Steelers in Super Bowl XXX, which was really Not Pleasant. I'd give Dallas credit for having once had Tom Landry as coach, except Jones fired the guy. As such, the Cowboys can get bent.

In Philly's case, I don't even know who owns the team. As for the folks on the field, I actually only have a mild dislike for Andy Reid, who seems in an impossible spot. Hell, I actually feel sorry for most of the Philly players, because they have to play for the Eagles. But it's Philly's fans which I despise with a passion, because they're thugs and louts and an embarrassment to their city.

Everyone knows about how the Philly fans booed Santa, and how the Philly fans cheered when Michael Irvin suffered his neck injury. But even the good Eagles fans are scoundrels. I mean, it's pretty bad when the guy named the "Lincoln Financial Field Fan of the Game" later gets thrown out of the stadium for rowdiness.

Still, when all is said and done, I think I'm going to have to root for the Eagles, tough call as that may be. Were Dallas to actually win the game, that would represent yet another victory for Messrs Jones, Parcells and Owens. I could not in good conscience hope for such an event, primarily because I have frequently expressed my displeasure with those gentlemen. Besides, Philly will lose in the playoffs anyway, so an extra win here or there for them won't make much of a difference. So, Philadelphia, go out there and make us all proud!

Just don't expect bail money.

(via Steve Silver)

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at October 5, 2006 09:12 PM | TrackBack
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