December 04, 2005

I Guess Brent Musburger Was Reason 53

FOOTBALL BLOG Every Day Should Be Saturday has, like most God-fearing American sports fans, had it up to here with the ESPN/ABC sports-broadcasting machine. Accordingly, one of the blog’s writers, who goes by the clever name of Orson Swindle, has produced a clever list of 52 reasons why he hates the franchise.

Amazingly, this list does not include sportscaster Brent Musburger, although this is perhaps understandable. Musburger is now nearing age 70, and as such, his often-annoying play calling now seems like a quaint throwback to an earlier, simpler time, when all people had to worry about was stagflation. Well, that and oil shocks. And Communist aggression. And getting a decidedly not-groovy case of the cl—

Well, anyway, let’s fast forward a bit. Consider what the conspicuous omission of Musburger from the list means. It now means that, in the world of football broadcasting, there are at least 52 things worse than Musburger’s playcalling during key matchups – even when Brent is pontificating upon the college game. Clearly, football broadcasting as we once knew it is in big trouble, and it certainly seems as if the ESPN/ABC folks have a lot to do with ruining the experience for everyone.

Here is, perhaps, the best reason of them all (a slightly-edited No. 18):

For a long time college football existed as a fiefdom apart from the Sportstainmenttastic! world of ESPN–pleasantly stodgy, frills-free coverage of a sport that allowed you to soak in the atmosphere of each game through the screen. Now we have Nick Lachey interviewing people and Big and Rich suggesting that we need more Ying with our Ying Yang. Two old pieces of redneck jerky–including one who one of our readers pointed out, bears a striking resemblance to Phyllis Diller–who were pulled out of a hat at random by marketing schmucks in New York who were like, “Okay, people. Red state sport—we need us some edgy country!” Total, horrid, absolute fecality soiling the last show we watch on the network.

As of this writing, the list has generated a mere 518 comments, the last of which is from some whiny Nebraska Cornhusker fan who apparently thinks his third-rate school deserved to share the 1997 national college football title with the much better Michigan Wolverines. Even though everyone knows that Nebraska had an easy schedule that year, and that the split was due to sympathy votes for the retiring Nebraska coach, this fan refuses to accept the obvious. And like ESPN/ABC’s many infractions against the sport of football, that’s just wrong.

In happier college football news, though, I’d like to offer my sincere congratulations to the Akron Zips, which won the MAC championship game on a last-second touchdown play against the vaunted Northern Illinois Huskies. It was a hell of a game and I wish the Zips well in the Motor City Bowl.

(via Steve Silver)

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at December 4, 2005 06:21 PM | TrackBack

It's hard to disagree with the listing of the most "disagreeable" aspects of ESPN. Thanks for linking to it. Go Zips!

Posted by: Swammi in Solon at December 5, 2005 12:49 PM

I can certainly understand why you're focusing on college football rather than the NFL in the aftermath of this past weekend.

Posted by: Uncle Dave at December 6, 2005 08:10 AM

Now THAT remark is .... well, it's just like school on a snow day.

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at December 6, 2005 09:28 AM

Oh, and I salute the temporary superiority of your professional football team.

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at December 6, 2005 09:28 AM