December 01, 2004

Not Dead Yet, Amazingly

SO WE TAKE a mere eight days off from our blog, five of which were due to various Thanksgiving-oriented happenings, and our friends start sending us notes inquiring about our health, our personal situation, and whether we are in fact still breathing. (The answers, respectively, are "lousy," "fair-to-middlin'," and "surprisingly, yes.")

For we can assure readers that earlier this week, a case of food poisoning caused us much agony. Classic buffet germ. That said, we know full well what caused our ailment, and what establishment was to blame for it. This misery was further compounded when, during our day to recuperate, our lunch caught on fire in the microwave. No, we are not kidding: smoke rushed into the kitchen, we staggered over to open the living room window, and spent much of the day spraying air freshener from a prone position on the couch.

Fortunately, however, once we realized the problem, we immediately shut the microwave door. Thus, the fumes were prevented from spreading. And we can assure readers that this minor incident was through no fault of our own, for we followed the directions on the package to the letter.

BUT MOVING ON. Alert readers will have undoubtedly noticed we changed the banner over the blog. It was either that or a really large orange picture, and we preferred the former. Anyway, readers using the Firefox browser should refresh the page after arrival, as it will fix any display problems you see beforehand.

ALSO: OUR PHOTO, by our good friend Matthew S. Schwartz, was taken in front of St. Patrick Church in Washington, D.C. It was taken roughly an hour before we served as best man in the wedding of our good friend Lee Bockhorn. In the photo, we are keeping top eye out for the Wretched Florist, whose insufferable delay nearly caused the best man to have a heart attack. However, the florist DID show up just in time, praise God, and the ceremony was beautiful.

Mr Bockhorn won the hand of the lovely Giulietta Zanichelli, and the couple have just returned from their honeymoon in California. We will have a full report on all our best-manly duties once we get all the source material, i.e. photos, together. Until then -- Lee and Giulietta, congratulations!

SHEILA O'MALLEY posted some wonderful essays while in Ireland recently. We encourage all readers to give them a look. In that vein, we would also note that Ms O'Malley's work made us a bit envious.

For one thing, we have been so busy lately that a vacation sounds really good about now. But more importantly, Ms O'Malley has an ancestral homeland which is fun to visit. We, on the other hand, have Old Countries which just make us thank God our ancestors got the hell out. For now, we'll just refer to those nations as the Axis of Ungodly Specialty Foods.

CHOUCROUTE, anyone? Mmmmm. It's Old Europe's kim chi!

QUOTE OF THE DAY, by Simon From Jersey: "A new Collective Bargaining Agreement would have to be signed by around December 15th to save the 2004-2005 Regular Season and Stanley Cup Playoffs. By all accounts, this is about as likely as Paris Hilton becoming a nun."

It is also about as likely as our staying coherent if we go ten more minutes without sleep. So, with that, good night -- and we're back!

Let's not get excited.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at December 1, 2004 10:57 PM | TrackBack

Glad to see that you haven't shuffled off this mortal coil. You've gotta stay away from those salmonella buffets, man. (You probably thought they said salmon rather than salmonella, didn't you?)

Again, glad to have you back.

Posted by: DCE at December 2, 2004 07:23 AM

Heh. Well, it was actually chicken that did it, I am pretty sure, from a badly-prepared salad. That said, thanks for the kind words. Much appreciated!

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at December 2, 2004 08:27 AM

Good to hear, I was getting concerned you had become incapacitated, e.g. Super Bowl 1994.

Axis Of Ungodly Specialty Foods: BRILLIANT!

Posted by: simon from jersey at December 2, 2004 09:47 AM