September 26, 2004

An Open Letter to CBS

TO: The Columbia Broadcasting System

FR: Benjamin Kepple's Daily Rant

RE: Football


To whom it may concern:

You may dimly recall that due to weather-related problems, the National Football League game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Miami Dolphins was postponed from 1 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. today. It is now after 8:30 p.m., and there is absolutely no football on Boston's CBS affiliate. It is readily apparent that no football will be forthcoming this evening.

Instead, CBS foisted upon its viewers an hour-long family drama about the trials of a batboy for a team that looks very much like the New York Yankees. The Yankees. Surely the good people of Greater Boston deserve better than this? Couldn't you have held off until after the World Series?

But as if that wasn't bad enough, at 9 p.m., instead of airing the game, CBS showed its Sunday movie, "Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman." You must be kidding. You are going to show "Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman" as opposed to an important AFC inter-division matchup?

Wretched, miserab -- why don't you just broadcast "Heidi" and have done with it?

In anguish,

Benjamin Kepple

UPDATE, 9:12 p.m. Oh, God. The Steelers are even winning.

UPDATE, 9:20 p.m. Now we're reduced to watching Tampa Bay vs. Oakland on ESPN. Swell. Just swell. Well, as long as the Raiders lose ... oh, wait. They just took the lead. Gaaaaaaah.

UPDATE, 9:42 p.m. OK, they just showed footage from the Pittsburgh-Miami game, and they're playing in a downpour. It is fundamentally wrong that we have no way to watch this.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at September 26, 2004 09:05 PM | TrackBack

on behalf of your loyal readers
may we ask for some more commentary on world events
when we saw "an open letter to cbs" we hoped you had finally thrown your hat into the rathergate furor
instead, you complain that you can't watch the football game

you are in danger of losing relevance
we don't want that to happen

Posted by: Faithful reader at September 26, 2004 09:51 PM

What could possibly be more relevant than AFC football?!

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at September 26, 2004 10:26 PM

Man! You've been having a rough day, haven't you? *rofl* So, who finally won? Tampa or Oakland? ;)

Bite your tongue, Faithful: the reason we like Ben is because of his lack of relevance.

Ummm... I think that was supposed to be a compliment, Ben. I meant it that way, anyway. Oh hell... *slinks away*

Posted by: Ironbear at September 27, 2004 05:41 AM


Oakland won. Then again, so did the Steelers. And the Steelers actually scored a touchdown during the Monsoon Bowl!

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at September 27, 2004 08:46 AM

Ben -- Sounds like you're a prime candidate for the "NFL Sunday Ticket" pay-per-view program.

Posted by: Geoff Brown at September 27, 2004 12:09 PM

Well this is the final confirmation that CBS is indeed a subservice force in American society. To deny loyal fans the rare opportunity to see a Steeler victory simply can not be justified.

Posted by: Swammi in Solon at September 27, 2004 12:27 PM

Not to mention it was Ben Roethlisberger's first start (and win). THIS OUTRANGE MUST NOT STAND!

On the bright side, you're not stuck in Redskins country. There are going to be a lot of zombies on the road tommorrow morning.

Posted by: davie d at September 27, 2004 04:30 PM

Geoff, we don't have that here. We have NBA and MLB pay-per-view but apparently NFL games are only available via satellite.

Speaking of bye weeks, that's what really hurt; the Patriots weren't playing, so there was no excuse not to show Miami-Pittsburgh. At least I don't think so anyway.

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at September 27, 2004 06:06 PM

I agree with faithful.

Come on Ben, you have such a keen mind! Use it for something important!

(Ben's likely response: "What could possibly be more important than AFC football!?!)

Posted by: Matthew S. Schwartz at September 29, 2004 05:25 PM

What could possibly be more important than AFC football!?!

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at September 29, 2004 06:41 PM