June 02, 2004

Official Ruling Affects Vacation Plans

IN A MOVE WE FIND deeply distressing, the Government of New Jersey has ruled that bars and night clubs may no longer offer women free admission to or discounted drinks at their establishments. As we are going to spend three days in the Garden State later this month, we must protest this arbitrary and capricious decision to make our evenings out with friends less enjoyable.

Fortunately, the state's governor has decried the matter; but it would appear that Drumthwacket cannot actually override its regulators' decision in the case. The Associated Press has the full story:

The state's top civil rights official has ruled that taverns cannot offer discounts to women on ``ladies nights,'' agreeing with a man who claimed such gender-based promotions discriminated against men.

David R. Gillespie said it was not fair for women to get into the Coastline nightclub for free and receive discounted drinks while men paid a $5 cover charge and full price for drinks.

In his ruling Tuesday, J. Frank Vespa-Papaleo, director of the state Division on Civil Rights, rejected arguments by the nightclub that ladies nights were a legitimate promotion. Commercial interests do not override the ``important social policy objective of eradicating discrimination,'' he ruled.

Well, we'd like to thank the State of New Jersey for potentially making our vacation less fun!

Sure, we know that as a member of the affected class, we are supposed to be happy knowing that everyone else will now be able to pay the same bogus cover charge and inflated prices for watered-down liquor that we do.

But here's the trouble. You see, because women will now have to pay the same going rate, it is entirely feasible to extrapolate that in two weeks or so, a woman who could well be The Lady We End Up Marrying would NOT be at the same bar we were, because the after-effects of this ruling would have discouraged her from patronizing the bar in question; while before, she may have been given positive incentives to attend that establishment. That sucks.

Furthermore, the knowledge this could happen has caused us great emotional distress and mental anguish, which will lead to a general feeling of malaise and spite, which will lead to us Not Spending The Money We Otherwise Would Have Spent in the Garden State, which will then lead to less-than-anticipated tax revenues for the State of New Jersey.

So really, New Jersey -- thanks a lot! We hope you're BLOODY WELL HAPPY knowing you've made life just a wee bit more difficult for us. For now, if we wish to properly party, we may have to spend $27 on a round-trip train ticket from Trenton to New York.

Although, now that we think of it, that isn't all that bad of an idea.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at June 2, 2004 08:28 PM | TrackBack

Mr. Kepple,

Yes, this doth suck. Fortunately, most of the taverns we will frequent when you arrive do not offer such "ladies nights", but still fare well with members of the fairer sex.

N.B. The train ticket (round trip) to Penn Station is 15 not 27.

Just get used to $6 smokes and $2.25 gas. Oh yeah, the cicadas seem to be just warming up....

Posted by: simon from jersey at June 3, 2004 11:04 AM

What? I thought last time it was $13.50 each way.
In any event, when I get in town, let's plan on Palace of Asia. You know, for the traditional You're-Letting-Me-Crash-On-Your-Couch-So-I'm-Buying-You-Dinner ... um, dinner.

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at June 3, 2004 09:00 PM

Sounds good. Yes, the train ticket has gone up. If we go to the city, wait until you see the smokes.......8 friggin 50. My God. We COULD always try Philadelphia this time. Up to you.

Posted by: simon from jersey at June 4, 2004 09:47 AM

Actually, Philly might not be a bad idea either. Never really been ... but we'll play it by ear.

At $8.50 a pack I am surprised the smugglers haven't set up open-air markets in Central Park!

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at June 5, 2004 08:18 AM