March 28, 2004

The Canadians Must Be Stopped

SO! CANADA IS EXPLORING whether to form some kind of formal union with the Turks and Caicos Islands in the Caribbean.

Oh, no they didn't.

We believe this perfectly good tax haven island nation must not be allowed to fall into Canada's clutches -- no matter how much plotting and scheming they do.

For one thing, we know full well that the Canadians will take this virtually tax-free island and impose the Canadian brand of socialism on it. This means that not only would everything in the islands have to have French language signs, folks would pay vast percentages of their income in all manner of taxes.

Secondly, we also know that the Turks & Caicos Islands use the US dollar, the world's most respected currency. If they joined Canada, they'd end up using the rouble Canadian dollar, and as such the value of their income and holdings would be subject to the loonie's rise and fall. We submit this would probably suck.

Lastly, if any country is going to start running around and colonizing places, the United States ought to be the one to do it. Thus we should get first dibs on any Caribbean nation thinking about signing up with a northern neighbor.

However, this is not to say we do not understand our Canadian brothers' motives -- we just think they should consider dealing with a nation with which they're more in tune. Like, say, Castro's Cuba.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at March 28, 2004 11:11 PM | TrackBack

I'm in. I love jerk chicken.

Posted by: Jeff G at March 30, 2004 07:45 PM