October 06, 2003

This Cannot Be Borne

WE HAVE LEARNED that The Raving Atheist has devised a "Blog Code" to ascertain meaning from a series of blogs authored by people whom our atheist calls "Godidiots." As it turns out, The Rant is among these seven or so blogs which attracted The Raving Atheist's attention.

Using these supposed code-breaking skills, The Raving Atheist has claimed to deduce the inherent meaning of The Rant, based on the full title of our blog. This supposed meaning is as follows:

An inane, blasted, pimply jerk.
Limp and nasty plebian jerk.
Jerky, pliant, damnable penis.

The Raving Atheist writes, as sort of an afterthought to somehow lessen the indignity he has heaped upon us, "I never thought he was that much of a jerk."

We do appreciate that. But quite frankly, we could also care less. That is not what has our hackles up. Nor do the comments about being "limp and nasty," or being "pliant" and a "damnable penis." We can deal with these baseless and crude attacks against our character.

But plebian ?


To respond to this insult against our good name, we turn to one of our illustrious ancestors, Hans Peter Koeppel (1644-1719), the noted Gerichtschoffe; one-time Mayor of Dehlingen, Alsace; landlord; and fourth of his line. We have translated from the original German transcript:


Ye Raving Epicurean, who writeth in a most Unseemly and Gauche manner so that he may better Castigate the God-fearing Christian men and women of ye civil society, doth Overreach himself most precariously. Was it not similar Incivility which led to the cruel treatment of my beloved Wife, whom the Uncouth people notoriously Tried in Diemeringen in 1673? Yea; I would argue thusly; and I Reject his scurrilious Non-sense accordingly.

For while Fortune decreed that an Aristocratic birth was not our lot, Providence and human Labor saw to it that our fortunes improved over time. These Labors did not go for Naught, and I can only thank Almighty God for his generosity and Blessing upon our house, and the generations upon generations which came after my Time upon this mortal coil. With His assent, these works shall ever Increase.

I do Understand that a particular great-great-grandson of my great-grandson has sometimes been a bit rash in his Judgments, but I must attribute this to Youth and Inexperience. With time, he shall cast away such Tomfoolery, and begin undertaking the pursuits of a true gentleman.

Also, as one learned man of Yr. time might say, "Ye Raving Epicurean knows nothing of my work. He means my whole fallacy is wrong. How he ever got to teach a course in anything is totally amazing."


And to quote another learned man: "Boy, don't you wish life was like this?"

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at October 6, 2003 01:16 AM | TrackBack