August 16, 2003

Pittsburgh Triumphant

So Oliver Willis is gleeful that during the Washington Redskins' season opener, Britney Spears will be part of a pre-game kickoff show in the nation's capital.

We are bemused at Mr Willis' enthusiasm, although in a way we understand it. After all, given that the Redskins racked up a stellar 7-9 record last year and went 8-8 the year before that, we can certainly understand that the last thing Mr Willis wants to concentrate on is how the Redskins do on the field. Of course, real football teams do not need Britney Spears or a fancy concert on the Mall to conjure up interest in their franchise. Real football teams can draw on their history, and their drive, and their performance on the gridiron.

Hence, we stand confident knowing the Pittsburgh Steelers will continue to outperform their competitors in both the AFC North and much of the National Football League. Unlike the Redskins, for whom post-season play is but a distant memory, the Steelers will make it to the playoffs this year. We would also go further and say that the Steelers will almost certainly crush their rivals and proceed to the Super Bowl, and bring home "one for the thumb."

Now, many may ask why we are so confident about things turning out this way. That's simple! Kordell Stewart is now playing for the Chicago Bears.

Regular readers of The Rant know that we have never cared for Mr Stewart. That feeling started one Saturday long ago, when the then-Colorado quarterback threw a Hail Mary touchdown pass against our beloved Michigan Wolverines. But as we watched Mr Stewart's performance for Pittsburgh grow steadily more erratic and undependable, these feelings soon crystallized into a palpable sense of anger and frustration. Finally, when Mr Stewart's ineptness pretty much handed a playoff match to the hated New England Patriots in 2001, we were infuriated. Since that day, we prayed that he would soon be gone from Iron City, and we're pleased to see that has finally happened.

STEEL CURTAIN: The five quarterbacks for the Pittsburgh Steelers, none of whom are Kordell Stewart, should lead the franchise to victory in 2003.

Ah, yes. What a great thing it is to think about a Steelers squad without Kordell. No longer will we Steelers fans suffer through an endless cycle of interceptions, blown passes, and erratic play. No longer will we Steelers fans grow frustrated with watching Kordell blow opportunities, foul up plays, and generally make a mess of things. A new day has dawned for this greatest of sports franchises, and we look forward to watching it march on to victory.

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at August 16, 2003 07:16 PM | TrackBack

I agree that the Kordell experiment had certainly run its course. While he showed flashes of brilliance, he was too inconsistent to lead a team. And I applaud you for making the bold prediction that the Steelers will win the Superbowl.

But five quarterbacks? Surely they're going to weed that down to three or four by opening day?

The sad thing is your third-stringers are probably better than our dual-starters -- Q. Carter and C. Hutchinson. I'll make the bold prediction that the Cowboys will go 6-10 (better than 5-11 any day!).

Posted by: Kevin White at August 17, 2003 02:24 AM

Someone should tell Oliver that Britney Spears is soooo 2001.

Posted by: davie d at August 17, 2003 06:57 PM

I experienced the joy of being in the Pittsburgh area on Saturday night which enbabled me to catch television coverage of the Steelers pre season game against Green Bay. While Mattox did not look particulary sharp that is no reason for concern since this game was meaningless and the firepower in the Pittsburgh passing offense was well established throughout the 2002 season. Without Kordell safely ensconced in Chicago, prospects for the 2003 season in Steeltown are spectacular. Now, if we can only get that Steeler pass "defense" somewhere close to the high standards you expect from the Black & Gold defenders we will be talking Super Bowl for the Steelers in January 2004.

Posted by: Swammi in Solon at August 18, 2003 08:24 PM

Thursday night, our quarterbacks vs. your quarterbacks. Bring it on! Your Steelers ain't so tough. I bet you won't even beat us by three touchdowns.

Posted by: Kevin White at August 19, 2003 12:35 PM

Cowboys 3-1, Steelers 2-3, who'da thunk it?

Posted by: Kevin White at October 5, 2003 11:28 PM