August 11, 2003

Kitchen Aid

Say! Now here's a handy product for any person: the Table of Condiments That Periodically Go Bad. This table, which lists the time a condiment can exist before it putrefies in one's kitchen, will come in especially handy for young people. For we generally haven't any idea how long we can keep the nuoc cham or the spicy mustard cooling in the fridge.

Of course, it says a lot about modern life that we young people don't generally know these things: we have to learn them, and often learn them the hard way. After all, the groceries make it easy to get already-prepared meals at a very reasonable price, and the current trend towards healthy fast food only exacerbates our general ineptness when it comes to cookery.

Further, I can assure you that when I was in college I knew men, reasonable and worldly men, who had only alcohol and condiments in their refrigerators; and I daresay that without the civilizing influence of the fairer sex, they would remain that way still.

Yet while the condiment table will come in handy for those men and for folks like me, I was disappointed to see that a pressing question for many men remained unanswered. Such as how long beer can remain in the fridge without it going bad. I hardly ever drink, so I haven't any idea. And I would rather not find out the hard way that months-old Beck's isn't as fresh or enjoyable as stuff purchased from the store three nights before.

(Link via Sasha)

Posted by Benjamin Kepple at August 11, 2003 07:09 PM | TrackBack

I feel it's my duty as a pedant to point out that honey doesn't go bad. Ever. The only food that doesn't.

Posted by: Kerry at August 11, 2003 08:47 PM